Day Eleven

The 12 Days of an Alternative Christmas

For the sole family member.

Christmas often leans on the idea of family lineage.

Stories passed down.
Roles repeated.
Someone older and someone younger around the same table.

If you are the sole family member left, that narrative can feel very far away.

There is no one else to remember things with.
No one else to share the weight of the past.
No one else to confirm that what you remember really happened.

Yuval Noah Harari writes about humans as meaning making beings.

About how our identities are shaped through shared stories.
When you are the last one carrying those stories, the responsibility can feel heavy.
You might be the keeper of names and memories and rituals that no longer have a place to land.

You might feel pressure to honour something that feels fragile simply because you are the only one who can.

Christmas can add to this.
It assumes continuity.
It celebrates inheritance.
Being the sole family member can bring a particular kind of loneliness.
Not loud.
Not dramatic.
Just quiet and constant.

This post is not here to suggest replacements.
It is not here to tell you to build a chosen family quickly.
It is here to say this.
What you carry matters.
Even if there is no one else to witness it.

You are not lesser because your story stands alone.

This series is for the people holding entire stories themselves.

I am writing this as someone who does not have it all together.
This is not positivity. It is presence.

If this landed, it is because you are not alone, even when it feels like you are.
I wish you good health this Christmas.
Truly.
Dave
The and. team
Debbie Halls-Evans

PS.
I am writing this series because the non-stop marketing campaigns and messaging of Christmas idealisms can leave a lot of people unseen.
This is not about doing more and not about fixing anyone.
It is an invitation to notice and to think and to see.

One day at a time.

This is Day Eleven.