Day Two
The 12 Days of an Alternative Christmas
For the person who lost someone last Christmas.
Christmas has a memory problem and it acts like time resets on the 1st of December.
Like grief has an expiry date or a pause button.
Like a new year wipes the slate clean.
And deep personal loss of a loved one does not work like that.
If you lost someone last Christmas, this one does not arrive gently.
It arrives carrying echoes.
The same songs.
The same smells.
The same empty space at the table that nobody quite knows how to name.
Brené Brown talks about grief as love that has nowhere to go.
Not something to be solved and not something to be rushed through.
So if this season hurts more than you expected, that makes sense.
You are not failing at Christmas.
You are remembering.
The world is loud right now and it demands cheer.
It rewards people who can perform okayness convincingly.
There is very little room for the person who is still carrying last year inside their body.
This post is not here to tell you it gets easier.
Not here to wrap your pain in meaning.
It is here to say this.
Grief does not make you ungrateful, it makes you human.
You do not owe anyone a version of yourself that feels better than you do.
If all you can manage this Christmas is to get through the day, that is enough.
If you need to step outside and breathe and cry and feel nothing at all, that is enough.
This series is for the people who are still hurting quietly.
We / I want to hold space for you.
I am writing this as someone who does not have it all together.
This is not positivity. It is presence.
If this landed, it is because you are not alone, even when it feels like you are.
I wish you good health this Christmas.
Truly.
Dave
The and. team.
Debbie Halls-Evans
PS.
I am writing this series because the non stop marketing campaigns and messaging of Christmas idealisms can leave a lot of people unseen.
This is not about doing more and not about fixing anyone.
It is an invitation to notice and to think and to see.
One day at a time. This is Day 2.
