Day Six

The 12 Days of an Alternative Christmas.

For the person who has received terminal news.

December has a strange rhythm.

Calendars fill quickly and. conversations drift toward plans.
People speak easily about next year.

It can feel ordinary on the surface.

Then there is the moment when language changes.
When you or a loved one are presented with terminal news.

“What are you doing next year” lands differently.
“So much to look forward to” suddenly feels heavy.
Even simple plans start to sound like questions you are not ready to answer.
Christmas arrives anyway.

There are assumptions everywhere.
That you want to reflect.
That you want to talk about meaning.
That you are ready to be brave and grateful and composed.

David Hume wrote about meeting reality without illusion.
Not to strip life of meaning, but to stop pretending it is something else.

Receiving terminal news does not bring clarity on demand.
It does not organise your emotions neatly.
It often brings fear and anger and numbness all at once.
Christmas can make this heavier.

It is full of talk about memories and legacy and what really matters.

That can feel cruel when you are still trying to understand what this means for your body and your people and your days.

• You might not want perspective.

• You might not want courage.

• You might just want time to feel what you feel without being managed.

This post is not here to reframe this as a gift.
It is not here to suggest acceptance has a schedule.
It is here to say this.

You are allowed to take this one hour at a time.
You are allowed to meet this honestly and unevenly.
You do not owe anyone wisdom.

This series is for the people standing at the edge of a life they thought they had more time inside.

I am writing this as someone who does not have it all together.

This is not positivity. It is presence.

If this landed, it is because you are not alone, even when it feels like you are.

I wish you good health this Christmas.
Truly.

Dave
The and. team
Debbie Halls-Evans
PS.
I am writing this series because the non stop marketing campaigns and messaging of Christmas idealisms can leave a lot of people unseen.
This is not about doing more and not about fixing anyone.
It is an invitation to notice and to think and to see.

One day at a time.

This is Day Six