12 days of an alternative Christmas
The 12 Days of an Alternative Christmas
Closing Reflection from Dave Evans co founder of and.
I did not write this series to challenge Christmas.
I wrote it because the non-stop marketing campaigns and messaging of Christmas idealisms leave very little room for reality. They tell us what this season should look like. Who should be together and how we should feel. What counts as success.
Over twelve days, I chose to look elsewhere.
Toward the people who keep being asked to shrink themselves so the story stays neat. Toward the people who are still here, still human, still carrying something heavy while the world insists on celebration.
I did not write these posts as an expert.
I wrote them as someone paying attention.
I do not have this figured out.
I am not standing outside these experiences.
I am not immune to pressure, grief, worry, loneliness, or contradiction.
What I have learned while writing this is simple.
Being seen matters.
Not fixed.
Not rescued.
Not reframed.
Seen.
If there is anything worth keeping about Christmas, it is this.
The capacity to notice one another without conditions.
That is all this series ever intended to do.
12 day summary
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Day One - For the homeless person
A refusal to edit people out of the frame.read more www.andcoachme.com/12dayschristmas
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Day Two - For the person who lost someone last Christmas
An acknowledgement that grief does not reset with the calendar. -
Day Three - For the person who needs to cry in the corner when no one is looking
Permission to stop performing happiness. -
Day Four - For the loved one in hospital and ill health
Recognition that presence matters even when nothing can be fixed. -
Day Five - For the person who is slowly dying
Respect for a pace that does not match the season. -
Day Six - For the person who has received terminal news
Honesty about fear, anger, numbness, and uneven days. -
Day Seven - For the parent who has no money and no food
A rejection of shame. -
Day Eight - For the estranged child and parent
Validation that love can exist without access. -
Day Nine - For the person who has no time off
Recognition that rest is not evenly distributed. -
Day Ten - For the emergency worker
Acknowledgement without hero worship -
Day Eleven - For the sole family member
Honour for carrying stories alone. -
Day Twelve - For the person who is all alone
A reminder that belonging does not disappear in silence.
A Final Note
This series was never about doing more. It was never about fixing anyone.
It was an invitation to notice.
To think.
To see.
and. matters.
and. has an enemy, and that enemy is or.
Or separates, it divides.
Or simplifies.
Or asks us to choose one thing and discard the rest.
and. is important this Christmas.
and. is the opportunity.
and. is the reason we notice and we see.
It is a choice.
A chance to notice and. to see and. to be.
One day at a time.
Merry Christmas.
Dave
The and. team.
Debbie Halls-Evans
