The Truth About Goals
We evolve, we change and we also have the ability to reflect update and edit our thinking, This is an update of my original blog in 2021
Let’s be real and accept the reality goals have become exhausting.
(and why most of the conversations about them are outdated)
Everyone’s got one or twenty.
Everyone’s talking about them.
Everyone’s selling you a better way to set them.
And yet most people feel more stuck than ever.
We’re told goals are essential.
Non-negotiable.
Proof you’re serious about life, leadership, business, growth.
No goals?
Must be lazy.
Unambitious.
Uncommitted.
That narrative is tired.
And it’s no longer fit for how humans actually live.
Here’s the First Truth
You already have goals.
You just don’t call them that.
Getting through the week without losing yourself.
Showing up with some integrity.
Keeping your energy intact.
Being decent to people even when you’re stretched.
Those are goals.
They’re just not shiny enough for LinkedIn.
A goal is simply a conscious intention paired with action.
Nothing mystical.
Nothing dramatic.
So when goals don’t work, it’s not because you are broken.
It’s because the way we’ve been taught to think about them is.
The First Lie About Goals
We set them.
We announce them.
We feel good for five minutes.
Then… nothing.
Cue self-judgement.
Cue the internal narrative of “what’s wrong with me?”
Cue another identity crisis disguised as motivation.
Or worse we associate goals with everything that feels off:
Fixing ourselves
Chasing numbers
Competing for validation
Becoming someone more “acceptable”
Weight. Status. Money. Productivity. Visibility.
So we decide goals are the enemy.
They’re not.
The lie is that goals are about becoming better instead of becoming truer.
A real goal isn’t pressure.
It’s alignment.
And alignment creates movement.
Welcome to the Evolutionary Shift
At and., we don’t treat goals as future fantasies.
We treat them as present-moment decisions.
Not:
“Who do I want to become one day?”
Instead:
“How do I want to live now without splitting myself in two?”
That’s evolution.
Not optimisation.
Not performance.
Not self-improvement theatre.
Test Your Goal Reality
(No Vision Boards Required)
Four questions.
Answer them honestly or don’t bother.
1. What do you actually want?
Not what sounds impressive.
Not what you’ve inherited.
Not what you think you should want.
What do you want?
If you’re brave enough, do this properly:
Three columns. No editing.
Column one
What genuinely supports you habits, people, values, ways of being.
Column two
Everything tangible you already have.
Yes, everything.
Gratitude isn’t fluff it’s grounding.
Column three
What drains you.
Including the quiet, internal stuff you usually gloss over.
Then get ruthless.
Keep what’s alive.
Cross out what isn’t.
Refine until one clear focus remains.
That’s not goal-setting.
That’s self-honesty.
2. Where are you now?
(And don’t lie to yourself.)
Self-candour isn’t self-attack.
It’s simply saying:
“This is where I am. No drama. No spin.”
Most goal failure comes from skipping this part.
Example:
If financial security matters, but spending habits don’t align—this isn’t a mindset issue. It’s a behaviour one.
Reality doesn’t need motivation. It needs acknowledgement.
Test this instead of another spreadsheet:
Before buying anything ask:
Do I need this now?
Wait 48 hours.
Still no? Move on.
Put the money aside.
Watch what changes without forcing anything.
3. What’s the gap?
Draw a line.
0% to 100%.
Mark where you actually are.
Not where you wish you were.
Not where you tell people you are.
This isn’t about speed.
It’s about honesty.
Evolution happens in increments not leaps fuelled by guilt.
4. Does it pass the ecology test?
This is where most goals quietly collapse.
Ecology = your whole life.
If your values say one thing and your goal demands another pay attention.
If the goal costs you your health, relationships, integrity, or nervous system it’s not ambitious. It’s misaligned.
Evolution doesn’t tear you apart to move you forward.
The Second Lie: Growth
We’re told:
Achievement = growth.
It doesn’t.
Growth has become a performance metric.
A spending competition.
A personal brand accessory.
Six-figure investments.
Endless programmes.
Very little embodiment.
That’s not growth.
That’s consumption.
At and., growth is measured differently.
What Growth Really Is
Growth isn’t louder.
It’s clearer.
It’s not more. It’s more accurate.
And it requires action not aspiration.
There are many types of growth.
Only a few will matter right now.
So ask:
Is this relevant now?
Can I act on it now?
Does it connect to my actual life not a fantasy one?
If not, it’s noise.
The Three Growth Arenas
To keep this real, we work with three:
Personal Growth How you lead yourself when no one’s watching.
Business Growth Clear outcomes. Clean impact. No vanity metrics.
Developed Thinking Growth Your ability to hold complexity without collapsing into certainty.
Choose what matters now.
Not forever. Evolution is seasonal.
Turning Growth into Movement
Forget motivation.
Think clarity.
See it – What does the outcome look, sound, feel like?
Check beliefs – Which ones support this? Which quietly sabotage it?
Commit to action – Three actions. No over-engineering.
Define results –
Basic (non-negotiable)
Stretch (challenging)
Push (requires courage)
That’s it.
No heroics.
Final Truth (Read This Twice)
Goals don’t create growth.
Action does.
Growth doesn’t need permission. It needs presence.
No action is still a choice. Still a direction.
So stop asking:
“What should I aim for?”
Start asking:
“What am I willing to live consistently from now?”
That’s evolution.
That’s and.
