Answer the goddamn question?!
Do you answer questions in the moment or from the echo of your past?
Here’s a thought: when someone asks you a question, are you truly answering their question—or are you defaulting to the script of your own experiences?
Think about it.
How often do you rely on what worked for you before instead of addressing what’s unfolding right now?
Let us explain.
As coaches, we’re asked questions all the time. Questions like, How would you handle this? Or what do you think about that?
But there’s a bigger question beneath these:
How do you handle [this specific challenge] right now?
Here’s the kicker: the way you answer can either inspire connection and impact—or create a disconnect. To truly resonate, we must answer in the now, not default to past experiences.
Why?
Because context matters, and the world (especially for younger generations) looks vastly different today than it did when we first faced similar struggles.
Here’s a real example:
A 21-year-old recently asked, How do you manage your mindset when you’re stuck between fear of what others think and focusing on the decision itself?
Everyone immediately shared personal stories:
When I was your age…
This happened to me, and here’s how I dealt with it…
The stories recounted how each person had overcome similar fears decades ago, navigating tough decisions influenced by others’ opinions.
It made sense, right?
Sharing relatable experiences feels natural—helpful, even.
But then came the curveball.
The young adult paused, thanked them, and said,” I appreciate that’s how you handled it back then… but what about now? How do you do that today, now?”
Boom. Mic drop.
In that moment, we adults realised something profound: they weren’t looking for historical anecdotes. They wanted relevance. They wanted now.
It was a wake-up call.
While our past experiences might offer context, they don’t always hold relevance in today’s world, especially for someone grappling with unique, modern challenges. What they truly needed was for us to reflect on the present: How would I deal with this mindset battle right now, in today’s circumstances?
The Takeaway
Next time someone asks you a question, pause.
Ask yourself:
Am I answering from my past—or from my present?
Does my response reflect the now they’re experiencing?
When we respond from the present, we not only connect on a deeper level but also model adaptability, empathy, and real-time reflection. This shift transforms conversations, sharpens your coaching, and strengthens your ability to self-coach.
So, let’s stop reaching for the comfort of past answers.
Instead, let’s lean into the now. That’s where true connection lives, and where the best coaching happens.
