Being you- why is it so hard?
Unlocking your unique edge
What does it really mean to "be you"?
We hear it all the time: "Be authentic[1]." But let’s get real being authentic in leadership, communication, or even day-to-day life isn't always easy.
The pressure to fit in, conform, or even overperform can strip us of what makes us powerful: ourselves.
At our most recent and.story presenting workshop, this was the heart of the conversation.
We weren’t there to learn “techniques” in isolation; we were there to uncover what happens when you stop trying to fit into someone else’s mould and instead use your unique edge to influence, inspire, and lead.
"Just be yourself."
It’s advice we’ve all heard, but let’s face it it’s not always helpful. In a world that expects us to meet countless expectations, how do we balance being ourselves with being effective, professional, or impactful?
This paradox is at the heart of every great leader, communicator, and human who wants to make a difference.
But here’s the thing: being you is the key to unlocking influence, trust, and transformation.
Let’s break it down.
Why “being you” matters in communication
People connect with people. Not pitches. Not perfection. And certainly not performance.
When you speak from your true self, you create an emotional connection that cuts through the noise. It's not just about what you say it's how you say it, how you own it, and how your story resonates with the room.
This isn’t just fluffy advice; it’s backed by experience. Those who attended the workshop walked away not just with techniques but with tools to tell their stories with heart, to engage authentically, and to wield their individuality as their greatest asset.
Why being yourself is harder than it sounds
So why is it most of us don’t share our true selves? We also live in a culture that idolises perfection. Scroll through any social media feed, and you’ll see the highlights: polished presentations, curated lives, and filtered faces.
We know the benefits, the impact and the way it will really create a new world for us. The reality is it takes energy, consistency, work, reflection, messing up, failing, getting it wrong, being noticed an endless list of the things we can all fear just like presenting.
The problem? It’s not that we think the external judgement or assessment is more important. It “feels” more important as that’s what we are told and forced to believe. When you try to conform to these standards, you dilute the very thing that makes you powerful, your story.
Being yourself takes courage. It means stripping back the armour of what you think people expect and showing up with the vulnerability of what’s real.
For leaders, it means risking imperfection to create a genuine connection.
The cost of not being you
When you lose touch with your real, true or whole self (we ask you to find a word that works for you or use edge if you prefer), you lose your ability to connect.
Here’s how that shows up:
In leadership, You become distant, relying on authority instead of trust.
In communication: Your message falls flat, failing to resonate with your audience.
In yourself: You burn out, constantly chasing a version of yourself that isn’t real.
Sound familiar? The good news is that it’s never too late to work on it.
The power of owning your story
In our workshop, one of the key takeaways was this: Your story isn’t just a part of you it’s your greatest tool.
Think about it. The most compelling speakers, the most inspiring leaders, the people who stay with us long after the conversation ends they all have one thing in common: They make it personal.
Whether it’s a mistake that became a lesson, a triumph against the odds, or a moment that changed everything, your story holds the power to move people. The challenge is to use it.
The three layers of “being you” in leadership
So, how do you tap into your unique edge without veering into overexposure or self-doubt? Here are three ways:
1. Know your story: Start being clear about your narrative. What’s shaped you? What’s the one experience that defines how you see the world? Bring this into your communication. Take a moment to reflect. What are the experiences that shaped you? What lessons have you learned that no one else can teach? Your story is your foundation, but it’s up to you to articulate it.
2. Find and own your energy: Whether introverted, extroverted or somewhere in between, your energy is your signature. Use it intentionally. Are you naturally calm and composed? Bold and energetic? Somewhere in between? Your energy is your signature. When you learn to harness it, you’ll connect with others more authentically than any rehearsed technique ever could.
3. Embrace imperfection: Practice radical imperfection. It’s not about being flawless; it’s about being real. Authenticity isn’t about perfection—it’s about connection. People don’t remember perfectly. They remember real. When you let go of the need to deliver flawless communication, you free yourself to be human—and that’s where the magic happens.
Real stories, real impact
The feedback from our and.story participants spoke volumes:
"The methods aren’t just innovative; they invite you to tap into your own unique edge."
"This wasn’t just another course; it was a masterclass in connection and impact."
"It gave me the confidence to stop hiding behind what I thought people wanted to hear and start showing up as myself."
This is the impact of being you. It’s not about tools or tricks; it’s about connection.
Why it matters now more than ever
In a noisy, fast-paced world, being true and whole has never been more valuable. People are tired of being sold to. They’re looking for realness. They want to be seen, understood, and inspired.
When you show up as your true self, you offer others permission to do the same. And that’s where transformation begins.
The and.story workshop was just the beginning. If this resonates with you and you’re ready to take the next step in owning your edge, we’d love for you to join us.
Our program isn’t just about communication it’s about transformation. It’s about equipping you with the tools, confidence, and clarity to be unapologetically you in every room and every conversation.
Spots are limited, and the waitlist is now open. Are you ready to unlock your edge?
Being you isn’t about standing out; it’s about standing in your story, your truth, and your power. Because when you do, the world doesn’t just see you it remembers you.
Your Edge Is Waiting
The feedback we received from our workshop echoed one profound truth: the magic doesn’t come from trying to be more; it comes from owning who you already are.
If you’re ready to elevate your communication and leadership by unlocking your unique edge, we’d love for you to join our next and.story program. Spots are limited, so don’t wait.
Our and.story program is built on the premise that you can explore what this means for you in a safe space. It will not remove the discomfort, even nerves, it does give you the opportunity to start exploring. Whether you’ve delved into it before or it’s a brand new experience, it’s truly great fun and also impactful on all you will do after it.
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[1] Authenticity is a societal misnomer. The challenge with authenticity is that there is always an agenda of some sort. Seth Godin says that we are only authentic the moment we are born and then never after that, as we always want something we are never truly authentic. Authenticity is hard as there is always an agenda, an outcome, a desire, a want, a need, and what you want to happen. Authenticity can be overused and lose its original power. The true self, whole self, and real self all can be seen as woo-woo, overly spiritual or even just ignored. Real and whole, true self is the one that we know is us, we may never have tapped into it, connected with it as ypu have been living to an external measure- what others think, what others expect of you, what you think is required. The best way to be whole, true or real or whatever word works best for you is being intentional. Knowing who, what and why you are you. You have to work it out. The real self can sit with things not being perfect, not being the norm and feel natural to you- who you are.. The internal work for whole, true, real self is lifelong, it’s a challenge in a modern world it’s also great fun working on it, using curiosity, not being assumptive, lose judgement of others.
