Stuck on a spin cycle?
Here’s how to break free, cut the rinse-and-repeat, and start thriving
Ultimately, we need to survive to thrive. You’ve heard of the hamster wheel. What about the never-ending washing cycle? Are you stuck on the spin cycle?
What keeps you going?
What survival loops do you find yourself in?
And more importantly, how do you thrive?
Is your BS radar turned on?
Self-awareness is key; we can hide, ignore, override, assume, and even lie to ourselves just to survive.
Own your mind and own your life;
you need to know how to fuel it.
Surviving is what our brains are wired for—biologically, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
You know what to do, how to do it, and why it matters… yet often, you don’t.
You stay in the same loops, repeating what you wish you’d leave behind. It’s simpler that way, isn’t it?
Familiar, validating, and safe. Your brain tells you, “I knew this would happen,” and boom—you feel justified, even if it’s in staying stuck.
This isn’t random. Our brains work in predictable patterns. Neurons fire along the same paths they always have, keeping us in survival mode. Picture a well-worn path that’s easy to follow and always leads to the same place.
Creating a new path—new neural connections—takes intention, practice, and patience. Just like before, you’re starting from scratch, reinforcing it one step at a time.
This isn’t instant; it’s real work.
Thrive requires belief, and if you’ve ever noticed, there’s a “lie” in the middle of “belief.” That’s the survival mode of talking, holding you back from the unknown.
Thrive takes courage, and yes, it takes energy.
Survival mode is easier, but adapting, evolving, and choosing to thrive requires turning on that BS radar, spotting the excuses, and giving yourself permission to want more.
Here are 5 ways to boost your thrive skills
[Self] Leadership or Leadershit?
Start with the truth—hone your BS filter.
Ask, “Is this true?” Then, ask again, “Is this really true?” (Byron Katie's work)
Most BS comes from an emotional reaction; we need to fact-check it.
Autonomy
Own your responses.
You choose how to respond and react. You don’t choose someone else’s reactions. This isn’t about ignoring others but about owning your part. Kindness, respect, and authenticity go a long way.
Inspir(a)action
Think and act differently.
Ask yourself, “If I were all in, how would I think or feel? What if I felt neutral or didn’t care at all?”
We coach 4 perspectives (all in-the pros, all out-the cons, dont care, on the fence)
Look at situations from multiple perspectives. Act with purpose
Congruency
Align (link) thoughts, words, and actions.
If you say it, do it. If you won’t do it, stop saying it. Thrive comes from congruency. Inspire yourself by staying aligned.
Do the Internal Work
Build new pathways.
What fires together, wires together. The same actions bring the same results. When it gets tough, do you keep pushing, or do you quit?
Thriving isn’t a destination; it’s a choice and a practice. It’s about owning each moment, rewiring your responses, and staying connected to what you truly want.
Ultimately, we need to survive TO thrive.
What do you do to survive?
What are your survival loops?
How do you thrive?
Have you got your BS radar turned on?
Thrive can be scary;
it takes energy- and a lot of it.
Sitting in survival mode is more manageable than adapting, evolving, amending, or editing, even when necessary. In survival our BS radar is dialled down or turned off, and we convince ourselves of valid reasons to stay the same and banish a desire to the back burner.
Reality check: Our language can trap us in survival mode.
How often do you catch yourself saying shoulda , woulda, coulda or can’t, don’t, impossible?
These words keep us in loops, reinforcing old limits.
With our new Survive and Thrive program, we’re taking a deep dive into breaking free. We’re exploring who we are, how we got here, and—more importantly—how to evolve.
This program is about practical tools and real change.
You'll learn how to spot the loops that hold you back, understand why they’re there, and unlearn them, bit by bit. It’s not an instant fix but a pathway out of survival mode.
The tools you gain? They’re lifelong and keep you grounded as you build resilience and growth.
We’ve all experienced that post-workshop high, that rush of motivation after a powerful talk or event, only to watch it fade away as life picks up around us.
Survive and Thrive is different.
It’s built to outlast the quick fix and create a lasting difference.
Thriving requires surviving, and surviving becomes meaningful when it leads to thriving. This powerful cycle touches every part of life.
How to go beyond survival?
Here are a few truths to consider:
To do, you need to be.
To hate, you need to love [care].
To speed up, you need to slow down.
To grieve, you need love and happiness.
To truly listen, you need silence.
To self-critique, you need self-assurance.
To give, you need self-awareness.
To motivate, you need a mindset.
To be kind, you must recognize unkindness.
To hold boundaries, you have to know where they lie.
To inspire, you need to be inspired yourself.
To be happy, don’t wait for others to make you happy.
To understand what’s meaningless, you need to know what matters.
To connect with others, you need to understand disconnection.
To see through the BS, you need to know reality from illusion.
These contrasts remind us that whatever your focus—leadership, personal growth, or professional change—it’s you who will either unlock or limit your progress.
Thriving is an intentional choice,
and it’s up to you to accept, acknowledge, and take action.
Through Survive and Thrive, you’ll have the tools to make this shift:
Universal Meta Programs: Discover where you’re instinctively wired to survive.
Our A, E, I, O, U Tool: Simple steps to uncover core patterns.
Values Methods: Define what really matters.
Story Lies: Recognize and rewrite the narratives holding you back.
Belief Ladder: Transform beliefs that keep you stuck.
Emotional Granularity: Sharpen the clarity of your emotions.
Your Language: Rewire the words you use to reshape your mindset.
Triple A – Survival Loop / BS Radar: Detect and disrupt your survival reflex.
Ultimately, surviving is the foundation. Thriving is making life intentional.
Okay lets add some more to this and go into some specific examples how this shows up for us professionally and personally.. which one connects the most for you?
Coaching Zone: Breaking the Survival Loop
Wherever you are in your survival loops, moving from “just surviving” to truly thriving isn’t just an idea—it’s a shift you can start right now. So here’s how we’d take each of you from default mode to something more intentional. No clichés, no fluff, just practical steps to make your life feel different.
Ever said "I’m surviving, but I feel like I’m losing myself outside of work."
You’re so focused on “getting it all done” that your personal needs end up on the backburner.
These aren’t just habits—they’re tiny declarations of who you are beyond the work. Trust that these moments add up and bring you back to you.
Action: Each evening, make a note of one small thing that brought you a sense of real satisfaction—whether it was a quick walk, a call with a friend, or just five minutes without screens. These aren’t just routines; they’re simple reminders that your life is about more than work. You’ll be surprised how this tiny shift can take you from I’m surviving to this is worth it.
Do you say "I’m surviving, but does this even matter anymore?"
Let’s be real: it’s easy to lose sight of your own purpose when you’re managing everyone else’s. You’re good at what you do, but does it feel good?
Here’s where we start.
Try this:
Grab a pen each morning and write down one value or intention that matters to you—not your team, not the board, but you.
How will you act on that today?
Small steps, yes, but they’re the ones that’ll bring back a sense of purpose.
"Surviving is just my normal. But I want more than that."
Drive can be a double-edged sword. Building a business from survival mode is like driving on fumes; it’ll get you somewhere, but it’s draining the tank. Let’s flip it.
Start here: Each week, set one habit or task that’s actually designed to refuel you—yes, just for you. Maybe it’s taking 15 minutes to think without a business outcome or a walk where you let ideas simmer instead of grind. This isn’t fluff; it’s about shifting gears so you’re not just pushing, but gaining momentum. Thriving isn’t soft—it’s the structure that keeps you building without burning out.
"Surviving feels like a badge of honor. But I’m running on empty."
Here’s a challenge:
Block out one hour each week for something that recharges you—no work, no goals, no business talk.
This isn’t an indulgence; it’s fuel.
Use the time to do something you genuinely enjoy. It’s about showing yourself that there’s more to your life than the grind. Start small, stick to it, and let it renew your energy
"I’m keeping up, but that’s all I’m doing."
Here’s the deal: you’re busy, but surviving isn’t the same as leading. Your to-do list has you racing, but where’s it taking you?
Here’s your first action:
Pause. Yes, even for two minutes. Take a break that’s actually a break.
Here’s a trick: every time you complete a task, take a breath and ask, What does this give me? If the answer is nothing, why keep doing it? This is about getting clear on what fuels you so you’re not just surviving but building energy for something more. Small pauses add up—and they’re not indulgent. They’re what thriving actually looks like.
"I’m just getting through the days. What’s left for me?"
Surviving is easy, but it’s draining. Here’s your shift:
Find five minutes each day to do something for yourself.
It could be reading, a quick walk, or simply sitting quietly.
It’s not about the time; it’s about doing something that’s just yours.
These moments are a reminder that you deserve more than just the daily hustle
"I want more than just getting by, but where do I start?"
You’re craving growth, but surviving can make leadership feel out of reach. If you want to lead, you’ve got to show up differently.
First step: Pick one aspect of leadership you admire— authenticity, courage, empathy, compassion or something else.
Now, make it a daily habit to practice that, even in small ways. One authentic conversation, one moment of courage, one act of empathy. (and technique 1:1:1)
This isn’t just theory—it’s the difference between thinking about leadership and becoming a leader. Thriving starts with practice, so let’s get intentional.
Each action here is small but direct. It’s how you shift from survival to intention, from keeping up to showing up.
This isn’t just about routines—it’s about breaking your own patterns and fueling something new.
"I want more out of life, but I feel stuck."
Thriving is about stepping into new experiences, not just routines.
Challenge:
Each week, try one thing you’ve never done before—a new activity, meeting someone new, breaking a habit, reading a new book genre, going to the cinema alone, eating in a restaurant on your own, taking a different route to work, park different locations. Break the the loops or familiarity.
The chicken call (find out more here)
These small changes will build your comfort with the unknown and help you grow into the leader and person you want to be.
