Surviving or Thriving?
Let’s Turn Self-Leadership On
Do you know your personal thrive conditions?
Many of us walk through life without realising the difference between surviving and thriving.
So, let's ask a simple question:
Are you, like many others, stuck in survival mode?
Most of us spend our time in survival mode without realising it.
Survival mode isn’t about life or death but how your brain reacts to stress and habits.
It's a mindset a system that kicks in when your brain feels threatened—whether that threat is a deadline, a stressful conversation, or even an email you don't want to open. Breaking free from survival mode is crucial for growth. So, what's keeping you locked in?
Here are five things that keep you in survival mode:
Help or hindering?
Habitual actions: We often fall into habits that keep us comfortable but stagnant.
Feeling emosh?
Emotional reactions: Reacting instantly, allowing the emotion to override. This can trap us in old behaviour patterns.
Is it really true?
Social cue misinterpretations. Misreading situations can keep us defensive or closed off.
Blah, Blah, Blah
Words matter. Language Processing shapes our mindset and how we talk to ourselves and others. Is your internal dialogue helping or hurting you?
This or that?
In decision-making programs, many choices are automatic, aimed at protecting us rather than pushing us forward.
Why does this happen?
Because your brain's top priority is keeping you alive.
It loves to predict patterns, so it defaults to survival mode, constantly looking for potential threats.
But while survival mode helps us avoid danger, it also keeps us from thriving.
Shifting into Thrive Mode is about understanding your happiness model—those small, everyday things that fuel your growth. It's about creating the conditions that allow you to thrive, whether in life or at work.
This includes knowing what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, building habits that support your growth, and recognising the environments where you perform best.
So, take a moment and ask yourself: What are your thriving conditions?
What helps you feel your best, both personally and professionally?
What small changes can you make today to break free from survival mode?
Okay, so we are coaches let’s do a bit of coaching and how we would help you.
Enter the coaching zone.
Most of us cruise through life in survival mode without even realizing it. Here’s the big question: Are you thriving or just surviving? Do you know your personal thrive conditions, or are you stuck in the daily grind—just getting by without really leading?
Survival mode doesn’t only kick in when facing significant life challenges. The day-to-day—overwhelming to-do lists trigger it, difficult conversations, or that email you’ve been avoiding. But to truly lead, you’ve got to recognize what’s holding you in survival mode and break free. Let’s do some coaching and unlock your thrive mode.
Let’s Do Some Coaching
5 Key Areas of Survival Mode
Habitual Actions: Stuck in your comfort zone
Meet David, the ambitious startup founder who has a relentless daily routine.
He’s about maximising productivity but hasn’t realised that his rigid routine is holding him back.
Every day feels the same, and though he’s successful, he’s stuck on autopilot, constantly busy but not moving forward.
Coaching Insight:
We would look at why they stay busy, not surface superficial reasons, the real reason. It can be anything from ego, control, fear, worry, uncertainty, skill, lost direction, the wrong people around them, a personal situation, or something else.
We would also dig deeper into the why, where it starts and from, its outputs and outcomes. Also, ask, “Is this routine getting you to where you want to be, or is it just keeping you in your cycle of familiarity? “
Habitual actions feel safe because they’re predictable (which is how our brain functions) but also keep you from taking risks that lead to growth.
and coach me action :
Break up your day with something new. Try a different approach to problem-solving or block time for creative thinking. These small changes will help you disrupt the monotony and open up space for growth.
Let’s look at
Emotional reactions: Reacting vs. Responding
Meet Rhonda, the burnt-out mid-level manager. Every day feels like a battle she’s constantly putting out fires, reacting emotionally to each new crisis. When stress hits, she responds impulsively, often regretting it later. Her emotional reactions are wearing her down and keeping her team in survival mode, too.
Coaching Insight:
We would explore understanding how long the survival mode has been in place, its triggers, and why reacting is the only option.
We would chat about the emotional reactions that only keep her stuck. Then, we would look at how we can help her switch from reacting to responding.
Start by recognizing that immediate emotional reaction protects you from discomfort but also blocks growth.
and coach me action: Next time you feel that stress spike, pause. Take three deep breaths before you respond. Remove the emotion label- allow it to be just energy. Stay in that space, and choose your response intentionally instead of letting your emotions drive the bus. This shift will help you lead your team with clarity, not chaos.
A big one for survive and thrive is the impact of
Social cue misinterpretations: Reading situations wrong
Let’s meet Michael, the aspiring leader who’s rising fast in his company. Yet there’s a problem: he often misreads situations, taking feedback as personal criticism or interpreting neutral comments as attacks. This makes him defensive and disconnected from his team.
Coaching Insight:
Potentially, for Michael, survival mode means his brain is constantly scanning for threats, even when they aren’t there. He could interpret feedback as a personal attack because his brain is trying to protect him, and he is responding from a base of emotion, not fact. To thrive in leadership, we would work with him to shift from defence to curiosity using specific techniques he can apply in each situation.
and coach me action: Start asking questions instead of assuming the worst. If someone gives you feedback, ask for clarification. Engage with curiosity. This way, you’ll build stronger connections and see opportunities for growth instead of threats.
Words are so important, as well as tone, pace and being quiet!
Language processing: The words we use matter
Let's meet Sarah, our busy working mum managing a team of 20. Her internal dialogue is a constant stream of “I can’t,” “This is too much,” and “We’ll never make it.” Her language both internal and external keeps her in a loop of stress and survival. The way she talks to herself shapes her mindset, and it’s not doing her any favours.
Coaching Insight:
We would start with an activity that allows us to understand Sarah's tics, traits, and words to identify them; sharing these insights will help her see instant wins and practice, test and experiment with new ways and words. For Sarah, what she says out loud or in your head directly impacts her ability to lead. Your internal dialogue is setting you up to survive, not thrive. We will show her how to start flipping the script.
Action: Every time you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t,” pause and reframe it. Try, “What can I do?” We call this delete the T. Shift your language from limitations to possibilities - this is not toxic positivity. Just saying something nice doesn’t make everything bearable. When you do this consistently, through practice, you’ll notice how much more open your mindset becomes, and your leadership will follow suit.
Decision-Making programs, playing it safe
We are still with Sarah this time, at a crossroads. Her team needs to pivot, but she’s leaning on old strategies because they’ve worked in the past. The problem? They aren’t working now. But instead of making bold decisions, she’s sticking with what’s familiar, keeping her team stuck in survival mode with her.
Coaching Insight:
Past success doesn’t guarantee future results. You’re playing it safe because your brain is wired to seek out what’s familiar. But sticking to old patterns isn’t going to help you grow and lead. It’s time to break free from those automatic decision-making programs.
and coach me actions: Start small. Make one decision this week that feels uncomfortable or risky. Push yourself to move beyond what you know and embrace a new approach. The more you do this, the more you’ll unlock your leadership potential and step into thrive mode. The discomfort is the growth; it will be uncomfortable, and that’s the first step to dealing with it.
Thrive mode is About Self-Leadership
Survival mode keeps you safe and self-leadership is about stepping beyond safety. It’s about recognising when you’re stuck, flipping the script, and (self) leading.
Your personal thrive conditions are unique to you, but one thing is certain: they’re not in your comfort zone.
So ask yourself:
What habits are holding me back?
How can I respond to challenges differently?
What environments help me grow, and which ones keep me stuck?
Your thrive conditions are within reach. Let’s stop surviving and start thriving.
Take control of your self-leadership and step into thrive mode. We’re here to guide you through every step of the way.
