What’s really holding you back isn’t what you think?…
I love a good newsletter and I’m probably subscribed to far too many. If one isn’t challenging my thinking, I unsubscribe. I’m not looking for the same old recycled ideas; I want something that stimulates my mind and offers a different perspective.
Recently, I read one of my favorite newsletters. It was talking about the importance of focusing on opportunity costs how we should prioritize this, avoid that, and make decisions more intentionally. I found myself screeching……
aaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh
The newsletter was waxing poetic about the theory of opportunity cost.
You’ve probably heard it before. Personally, I think opportunity cost is a liar, unless you drag it into the light and call it out.
The term was coined by Friedrich von Wieser back in 1914 (because obviously, nothing screams modern thinking like a century-old Austrian economist). It’s the econ-nerd way of saying, “what you didn’t choose is haunting you.”
In textbooks, it lives in neat little diagrams like the Production Possibility Curve, where trade-offs are perfectly measured, outcomes are predictable, and humans apparently make decisions in a calm, rational vacuum. Adorable, right?
Except this is real life, not Econ 101. You are not a graph. Your “next best alternative” is rarely sitting in a petri dish under perfect lighting. And half the time, the “missed opportunity” you’re mourning never even existed outside your own over-caffeinated imagination.
Most of what we dress up as ‘opportunity cost’ is just our brain being a drama queen about something that was never even real.
So when I call opportunity cost a liar, I’m not throwing shade at maths. I’m saying the original model was built for a slower, simpler, dead-and-buried version of the world—and yet here we are, still treating it like gospel.
I keep seeing these lists of life’s “shoulds.” By whose rulebook? The big scam is that we follow other people’s one-size-fits-all approach, even though life is anything but that.
Side note: I used to want life to be black and white, nice and clear-cut. I even coached people with that mindset helping them slice the world into neat little lines. Then I stopped. Because it’s rubbish. Life isn’t two colours. It’s a whole messy knot of in-betweens smeared all over the spectrum. And honestly, that messiness is where life actually happens.
Opportunity cost is just the grown-up way of saying, “I’m doing this, so I can’t do that,” or worse, “I didn’t do that, and now I regret it.”
It’s the adult guilt trip dressed up as logic. The textbook version sits there in its tidy little triangle asking:
Compared with what?
And then what?
At the expense of?
It’s not a triangle. It’s a trap.
Stop comparing to ghosts
In theory, you measure a choice against the next best option you did not take.
In reality, you are comparing against what you think you should be doing. What someone else is shouting about online. A version of you who never had to survive the thing you just lived through.
If your comparison point is imaginary, so is the opportunity cost.
and. translation:
This is stuck dressed as strategy. You are not comparing two clear paths. You are comparing now to a made-up measurement.
It is not clarity.
It is sabotage.
Quit forecasting fear
In theory, economists use “and then what” to map sequential choices. Clear steps from A to B to C.
In reality, you use it to spiral. You forecast fear instead of future. You dodge action by hiding in hypotheticals.
“And then what” is gold if you are building a path. It is garbage if you are avoiding one.
and. approach: Ask better versions of this question.
“And then what could I solve?”
“And then what does not happen if I keep doing nothing?”
“And then what does my life feel like?”
Get curious, not cautious.
Own your trade-offs
In theory, every choice means something else loses out. That is the trade-off. The textbook says you measure the loss so you can make the optimal call.
In reality, this is where the guilt leaks in. “I am choosing this at the expense of being a good parent, loyal leader, better human.”
Are you though. Or are you finally choosing with intention.
You will always spend time at the expense of something.
and. truth bomb:
Most people do not get stuck at the decision. They get stuck in the drama of the decision.
Here is the twist:
You are allowed to make conscious, empowered trade-offs.
You are allowed to say “yes” fully without dragging guilt along for the ride.
and. truth bomb:
Most people do not get stuck at the decision, they get stuck in the drama of the decision.
The Real opportunity cost?
Not acting.
Not solving.
Not simplifying.
The cost of staying foggy is always higher than the cost of experimenting, testing , trialing.
That is where the thrive lives, on the other side of clarity.
So let us remix this whole thing:
The three and.’s of opportunity cost:
Stuck and Solving?
Fear and Forward?
Thriving and. Surviving?
If the process is not helping you thrive and survive instead it’s hindering you, it is time to throw the triangle in the bin.
Stop worshipping dead processes
Most leadership thinking is rotting from the inside.
You are not stuck because you are lazy or lost.
You are stuck because you have been taught to worship process over progress. You are following frameworks built for a different time, in a different world, for a different kind of person.
You are applying 1914 economic logic and 1990s business school thinking to a 2025 reality where:
Complexity is constant.
Certainty is dead.
Clarity does not come from checklists. It comes from you.
The real opportunity cost?
Trying** to simplify your life using someone else’s outdated, overcomplicated process. That is like attempting to boil water by reading about fire.
If your current way of thinking was going to free you, it would have by now.
Yet here you are.
Still overthinking.
Still under-acting.
Still obeying the same old systems and calling it strategy.
It is habit disguised as strategy.
Time to burn the manual.
Ask harder questions.
Build something that works for you.
And if that rattles the cages of every consultant, coach, and corporate cliché out there?
Good.
Test it with micro-experiments
Compared with what? (And is that “what” even real?)
Experiment: Write down your current “compared with” benchmark. Circle everything on that list that’s an assumption, not a fact. See how much is fantasy.What problem could I solve today instead of circling it?
Experiment: Pick one problem you’ve been “planning” to solve. Give yourself 15 minutes to take any action toward it.What happens if I stop forecasting fear and start forecasting forward?
Experiment: List three best-case outcomes instead of worst-case. Notice how your brain resists.What trade-off am I actually making and do I own it, or resent it?
Experiment: State your trade-off out loud in the form “I choose X instead of Y because Z.” If it sounds like an excuse, rewrite it until it sounds like a choice.Is this process helping me thrive, or just keeping me busy?
Experiment: Stop doing one recurring “busy” task for a week. See if anyone notices.If I threw out the ‘right way’ tomorrow, what would I try instead?
Experiment: Break one “rule” you’ve been following because “that’s how it’s done” in business, work, or life and try your alternative for 48 hours.What’s the cost of staying stuck for another month?
Experiment: Write down the actual dollar/time/energy cost of inaction for 30 days. It’s usually uglier than you think.Who wrote the rule I’m following and do they even live in my reality?
Experiment: Google the origin of one “best practice” you live by. Decide if someone from 1997 should still be running your life.If I didn’t know the ‘best practice,’ what would I do next?
Experiment: Make your next decision without Googling, polling, or over-researching. Trust your brain.Where am I choosing complexity because it feels safer than clarity?
Experiment: Simplify one project to half the steps. Do it anyway.What’s the smallest experiment I could run today to move forward?
Experiment: Set a timer for 5 minutes and do the smallest visible thing that signals “I started.”How much of my strategy is actually habit dressed up in business clothes?
Experiment: List your top 5 “strategic” actions. Circle the ones you’d do automatically even without a goal. That’s habit, not strategy.If I measure my choices by progress instead of process, what changes?
Experiment: Swap one metric this week (e.g., “hours worked” → “output created”). Notice how it changes your decisions.Am I comparing myself to a past/future version that never actually existed?
Experiment: Describe that version in detail. Then cross out everything that’s a guess or a wish. What’s left is the real comparison.What becomes possible when I stop asking ‘and then what?’ to dodge action?
Experiment: Take one action without asking yourself any follow-up questions. Just do it and see what happens.Share your experiment outcomes
* Calling Out ,Calling In
Calling out is the line in the sand , the public, unapologetic “No.” No to your harmful joke. No to your lazy excuse. No to the structures that keep rotting while people smile politely. It’s not about humiliating someone, it’s about refusing to play along.
Calling in is the tap on the shoulder. The “hey, let’s talk” before it becomes a headline. It’s generous. It’s patient. It assumes you might listen.
We call in when we see the door to change cracked open. We call out when that door’s been slammed shut for too long.
Calling out means stepping into the heat, ready for pushback, knowing our words might land like a brick. Calling in means building a bridge not pretending it’s indestructible.
Both demand skin in the game. Both can sting.
And both start from the same place: clarity, courage, and zero tolerance for the same old nonsense.
** at and. we don’t use trying in its direct context as neurologically to try means with less effort, more avoidance . Think about when you are asked are you coming to the event, I will try. we know instantly they aren’t!
We adopted test, trial, experiment which instantly removes fear and failure as its not without NOT doing, it giving it a go whatever the outcome. Give it a go and see the difference. Language matters.
